The hospital like smell, daily wheelchair walks, strawberry ice cream on Fridays, sunny ninety degree weather, apple juice and crackers for my NST tests, daily journal entries, reading inspiring scriptures, crying myself to sleep, struggling to shower myself with an IV, wishing my mom was there, stroking my tummy while I cried not being ready for Boston to be born, ordering breakfast on the phone from the cafetiera, being woken up at 3am to check my blood pressure, watching Friends in the morning on our Amazon Firestick, missing Sean when he would have to go back home 2 hours away for school some days, and crying every time I saw a mom in the halls being wheeled back to their room with their newborn or walking out those doors to go home with their precious little one. It was a very hard time in my life and I will never forget those 21 days in my life of the unknown and having to put my complete trust in God with my life and my son's life. That next day is one that I will never forget. The moment, that second I became a mom I felt something, something different. Even with the unknown, the fatigue, the unanswered questions, I knew that I was a mom know and I had to be strong. Boston came out screaming and has been a little miracle since.
I cannot believe he is one year old day and it has been an mixed emotions kind of day. I am overwhelmed with gratitude and happiness seeing how far we have come in the past year and how much Boston has grown. He such a happy boy and is a healthy whopping 17 pounds and 26 inches tall. He wears 3-6 month clothes and size 3 diapers. I still try to cuddle and hold him but he is always wanting to move around. He can stand for a few seconds on his own but knows that crawling is faster so he refuses to walk even when we hold his hands to practice. I'm okay with that because it will prolong my sanity and he will still be a "baby" to me ;) I never knew I could love a person as much as I love Boston. He is my motivation when the nights get long and I feel overwhelmed with running a business, cleaning the house, and trying to have dinner on the table every night. He will always be my little miracle baby who could find in my sports bra and was more wires than baby at the beginning. I will always be grateful to God every time (well most times because he is a stinker ;) I look at him. Happy Birthday Boston!! I love you so much :) More than you will ever know. I have an AMAZING photography friend here in Logan who took some pictures of us to celebrate Boston turning 1. She also took some head shots of my for my business and I LOVED how they turned out!! Hiliary was so patient and loving toward Boston and made me feel beautiful and confident!! I would recommend her a thousand times! Go check out more of her work here!
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It was SUCH a fun time being able to see my family to celebrate my youngest sister turning eight years old! She was baptized last month and I am so happy I was able to go! Being the youngest, she is the last one to get baptized which is so crazy! I cannot believe how old and grown up everyone of my sisters is getting! Yes that is me in the middle of my three youngest sisters that are taller than me. Don't judge!! ;)
It was so fun to be surrounded with family and get to spend time with everyone; even if it did rain half of the time..what the heck Arizona?! My family blamed me for bringing in the "cold". It is funny because the last time they came up to Logan in July it was the hottest week of the summer and it got up to 95! I said the same thing and said they brought the heat. Living so far away from family has been hard but it makes going back home that much more special. It does help that I have had "excuses" to see them in September, November, December, and now January! Boston was such a stinker on the plane though and would not stop moving the whole time! He loved saying hi to everyone and would lunge for them wanting them to hold him whether it was a cute grandma across the aisle, the mom next to me, the flight attendants, or the baby behind him. The hour and a half flight there felt like an ETERNITY but we finally got there only to have a two and a half hour ride home. Thank goodness he slept the whole way there. Right when we got to my parents house he was wide awake for hours and was so happy to see everyone. With my mom's best friend's kids there was a total of 15 girls in the house!!! It was a full house of fun and Boston did not mind at all! I am so grateful to have been able to see my family even if it was just for the weekend! I am so proud of Jaiden for her decision to be baptized. My family is everything to me and I am already counting down the days when I get to see them again! This first picture right above pretty much how I describes how 2016 was; surprisingly blissfully happy! The year started out rough with spenging the first months of the year in the hospital when our family had quite the scare. Our little boy Boston decided to come 10 weeks early and weighed just 2 lbs. 0 oz. With me spending 21 days in the hospital on bed rest and Boston spending 46 days in the NICU, you could say we were so done with the hospital life and were SO glad to come home! Even though Jessica Ajeman Photography started when I bought my camera August 2015, taking a 4 month break while we were in the hospital I kind of lost my drive. I took some needed time off to take care of my baby, being with family, and deciding what I really wanted to do with photography. I decided then and there that this was not just a hobby but a dream job I wanted to make happen. After deciding to make Jessica Ajeman Photography happen, we moved the next month to Logan Utah. It was basically like starting all over-new people, new clientele, new industry, new world. What I did not know what that everyone and their dog was becoming a photographer in Utah. Why did they need another one? What would I be able to contribute to the wedding photography world? I got very discouraged and thoughts of quitting came into my mind. I decided that if I was going to be thrown into the 'just another Utah photographer' mix- I was going to stand out. I wanted to take it seriously, be a legit legal business, and give my clients more than just pictures. I want give my clients an experience where I have an impact on their life through photography. I want to bring light and joy into their lives where maybe there was none through my pictures. I have met other amazing photographers that were able to change my view on everything about my business and the WHY of it. I learned that it is not all about competition but coming together as a community and helping each other out so we can all be successful. The moment I decided to take my business seriously, commit to it, and put in the work to improve, I started to see results. I have improved so much and learned tons in the past 6 months. Since moving to Utah in July, I have been able to do 66 sessions (some were in AZ when I visited), but still! I have been crazy busy and am glad I can slow down a bit and let my business take off slowly but surely! I just want to say a HUGE thank you to everyone that has believed in me and supported me so far, especially to those who have from day one. This dream becoming a reality would have not been possible without you! To show you how far I have come in 2016, I wanted to share a few of my first photos I took this past year compared to the last session I did. Promise me you'll scroll through the first ones REALLY quickly!! I am almost too embarrassed to show you them, but I want to be real. I want those you are just starting out in photography to not get discouraged if some of your images look like the first ones! Keep practicing and don't give up! You got this! I am so excited for what this new year brings and the brides that have already booked! Here’s to a new year filled with change and improvement! THEN: NOW:
Why am I the worst at blogging my own family's pictures?! That will definitely is going on my New Year's resolutions list. It is getting quite long actually which does not help...haha. A couple of weeks ago we headed out to Freckle Farm in North Logan. I have been so excited for Christmas to come so I could get a picture of Boston with Santa. I have since had three other pictures with different Santas’. Let’s just say it’s the photographer in me to get the perfect picture!!
Boston's first time being on Santa's lap he did not know really what to think. I am not sure Santa knew what to think either judging by his face. Maybe it was the first time he had ever taken a picture with a baby?! Oh well, it was still a fun time! Freckle Farm was so beautifully decorated and had a gorgeous Christmas feel. Their store and decorations were so beautiful! We then went out back to where they had all of their real Christmas trees outside. It was so fun to look at all of the different types and sizes and they all smelled so wonderful! I remember going out and finding a real tree for Christmas when I was younger. Such fun memories! We were always cold and would tell my dad to hurry up. All the little kids had a blast looking for all of the elf on a shelfs for a scavenger hunt and coloring Christmas coloring pages. The best part was their amazing hot chocolate station! They had the most delicious hot chocolate that you could mix in whip cream, candy cane bits, chocolate chips, and marshmallows. I cannot believe that Christmas Eve is tomorrow; it came so fast! I am so excited for it to snow tomorrow and Christmas day! This will be our first White Christmas, I am so excited! This is also our first Christmas without our families and will just be Sean me and Boston. It is sad we will not be seeing family at all during Christmas but it is exciting to be doing our own thing and starting our own family traditions. I thought my toes were going to fall from taking bridal pictures in 33 degree weather (That is cold in Arizona I promise!!) but I didn't care. It felt like this day would never come and I had been waiting for it for months and now it was finally here! I will never forget walking up to the love of my life with his back turned as my heart pounded with excitement. He turned around and his reaction was priceless. We continued to take pictures for an hour or so and I could not believe I would be getting married to my best friend in one hour.
In my religion, we believe marriage is meant to last forever, for all of time and eternity. You are able to participate in a sealing that binds you and your spouse and God. You make promises with God in a very sacred building called a temple and it is the House of the Lord. What takes place inside is very sacred and that is why everyone can't go inside and none of it can be photographed. I will say though, being sealed to my best friend was the most amazing experience I will never forget. To experience feeling that because of the decisions you made together, you have made it and are able to have the approval and blessing from Heavenly Father on your marriage is amazing. It doesn't mean its all smooth sailing from there and our lives are perfect. It just meant because we knew our love was going to last forever, we were going to treat it different. The rest of the day was filled with joy and laughter and was spent with family and friends. It was all so surreal and it was crazy being how young I was that I was starting my own life! All of the butterflies, the blissful happy feelings; I never wanted it to end. Thank goodness for pictures to look back and relive all of those precious memories. Huge shout out to Erin Householder Photography for our engagement pictures and David Palmer Photography for our wedding pictures!! I couldn’t have imagined anything better and more beautiful! I cannot imagine my life without Sean. We have been through so much together in the past two years and I cannot imagine anyone different to spend my life with. I love that we are best friends and companions. We love car trips because we can just get away and jam out to music but usually just end up turning it off and talking the whole entire trip. We are the type of couple that comments on things during movies and shows we watch together (that's probably why we never go to the theater... haha). He has always believed in me, even when nobody did. With his help and faith in me, my dream to be a photographer is becoming a reality. He was there to hold my hand for all of the tests, needle pricks, bad news, and scary times while we had our journey in the hospital. He already is the best Dad and works so hard at a job he dreads going to just to provide for our little family. These last two years have been such an amazing and crazy ride and I can't wait to see what our future holds. Love you babe!! :) I always get super excited when I get to take pictures of my family members but especially when it is on such a special day! My sister-in-law and her family were sealed to each other in the Gilbert Arizona Temple yesterday and it was such a wonderful day spent with family. Sean, Boston and I were able to fly down and be there and I am so grateful we were! Any excuse to come to Arizona and see family is a good one but this was one we especially looked forward to for months. I will take high 60 degree weather over the 20s ANY day of the week. The bright sun and a cool breeze felt like about how September does back in Logan. Krysta and Brandon will have been married for four years next April and their ADORABLE little girl Brooklyn is 18 months. It has been so fun to watch their little family grow and I remember the night we found out they were expecting and how exciting it was! Brooklyn and Boston are best buddies that don't know it yet ;) They are 9 months apart and at the ages they are now, they do not quite know what to think of each other. Brooklyn is so used to being the smallest of all the kids she interacts with so to see a baby even smaller than her kind of freaked her out. Boston is kind of a lot to handle I do not blame her ;) Anytime he would get near her she would bawl and cry until he left her alone; it was the funniest thing. For pictures though, it was the opposite and Boston had just woken up from a nap and would not take a picture at all with Brooklyn. The best I could get out of him was him looking at Brooklyn and she was as happy as could be.
Living far away makes you appreciate the time when you do get to see family that much more special and memorable. It is hard living so far away but I am so grateful for the relationships we have with this adorable family and the rest of our families! I promise I have not gone MIA, things have just been crazy busy lately!
I have been dying to share these pictures and what a better time than the day before Thanksgiving?! This is a very personal post and one that covers something I never talk about. I have been wanting family pictures for a while but just kept pushing it out of my mind for certain insecurity reasons until another photographer said something. She said don't wait for precious moments to pass you by that could be captured and documented over a weight loss issue. I HATE being behind a camera and being insecure about my body has always effected my life. I'm so glad I got up the courage to ask my fellow photographer and childhood friend Kalee Udall to take our family pictures. The day before the shoot we all got in the car and went in search of the hardest task- OUTFITS! Moms, doesn't this just stress you out to your wits end trying to coordinate looks?? It was at the beginning when we started looking for colors and patterns and started to get overwhelmed. *Stay tuned for next month when I will have a blog post JUST dedicated to helping you dress for success for your family pictures ;)* We went to Old Navy and they just happened to be doing an early Black Friday deal of 40% your entire purchase. I love to shop deals and got super excited! I was also brave and bought three things I have never worn before- ankle boots with a heel, a hat, and lipstick. When it was all put together I felt something I haven't felt in years- confidence!! I was able to be confident during our pictures and it gave my more motivation when I looked as some pics I really didn't love, to start to make changes so I feel and look even MORE confident during our next family pictures. It also gave me the confidence to dress nice more often ( yoga pants and hair in a messy bun is my go to everyday #thatmomlife) and so I can get that an even smaller size next time for pictures. I was hoping for some snow in our pictures because that is a rare thing in Arizona but it was already melted from the week before. Still hopeful, we headed up Logan Canyon and were able to find a little patch of it where we quickly pulled off of the road next to. Of course Boston smiles 24 hours a day at home but the second a camera is put into his view, he refused to crack even a smirk. He was SO fascinated by the cars whizzing back and forth and it gave Kalee only a one second window to when a car drove right behind her to get him even looking remotely at the camera. He did pretty good though, and it could always be worse ;) Now I am going to get a little sappy, but bare with me. Social media will be blown up with thankful posts tomorrow so I want to get in my two cents now ;) Because of the circumstances of how and when Boston arrived into our lives, it has always been a daily reminder to have a thankful heart. It is the best time of year to be thankful during November and Christmas, but why not make it a daily occurrence? I encourage you to say 'I love you' more often, be on your knees daily thanking God more than asking for things, and be thankful for the little things in your daily life. I would not be the person I am without these two boys in my life. They have forever changed me and I cannot wait to grow our little family in the future. My husband Sean does SO much for us and I couldn't have asked for a better companion to spend my life and eternity with. He works a 70+ hour week at a temporary job he dreads going to every morning at 5am. He does it without compliant (usually ;) so that we can have the things we need and so he can make my photography business a reality and not just a dream. Boston Boston Boston...where do I start with that boy? As much of a stinker he is, there is an indescribable feeling of blissful happiness I get each time he smiles at me, puts his arms up because he wants me, and rest his head on me while falling asleep. I could go on and on about these two but I will leave it at that and wish you ALL safe travels and the most wonderful Thanksgiving that is spent with people you love and care about you :) Photos by: YouDoll Photography Edited by: Me :) Like I promised, the blog would be filled with this cutie's face! Boston is 9 months today, 16 lbs. wears 0-3 month clothes, and size 2 diapers. He is a crawling machine and gets into everything in reach. If you hold his hands he'll walk across the room and more. He has started pulling himself up on the couch and trying to stand up in his crib. Boston loves mimicking us with sounds with our mouth and shaking his head no. I am so glad we were able to go to the park as a family last Saturday on Sean's day off. River Hollow Park is just down the street from where we live in Logan and is the perfect little park. The light was leaving fast and it was getting chilly but we were still able to snap some pics and this mamma was a happy camper! I was lucky enough to get what was left of the fall color before it snowed yesterday here in Logan. Yes you heard me right- SNOW! We came out of Walmart last night from doing some last minute shopping and I could not believe it. I am not ready for the cold and miserable months yet!! It'll be fun to actually have a white Christmas though :)
Anyways, today being Boston's 9 month "birthday", it is also World Prematurity Day. Every one in ten of all babies worldwide are born premature which makes up the 15 million babies that are born premature every year. Not only was Boston born 10 weeks premature but he was diagnosed with having severe IUGR. Intrauterine growth restriction (IUGR) refers to a condition in which an unborn baby is smaller than it should be because it is not growing at a normal rate inside the womb. Fewer than 200,000 cases per year. Delayed growth puts the baby at risk of certain health problems during pregnancy, delivery, and after birth. With this condition, a baby is born weighing less than 90 percent of other babies at the same gestational age. When I got admitted into the hospital at 27 weeks, Boston's ultrasound showed he was measuring in the less than 1 %tile. I was told by doctors that I am at risk is now tripled for never carrying to full term and even having still born babies. That statistic is not going to make me not want to have any more kids in the future. If we are meant to grow our family, it will happen in the right time. I feel so privileged God trusted me with a miracle. In that time I had to be strong, really strong, stronger than I thought I could be. And when it was over, I knew I could survive anything. Watching Boston's tiny little fragile body fight every day to live was an experience I will never forget. He is my hero and I'm proud to be his mamma! ;) I feared because it was too early, I cried because it was too soon. Yet I underestimated the strength in one as small as you. Today and tomorrow are two of my little sisters' birthdays and they are becoming not so little! Yes these first pictures are WAY different because one was taken almost a year ago and my techniques have definitely changed. This lets me know I need to take recent pictures of my sisters!! Cambria on the left is 10 years old today!
Man where has the time gone! It seems just like yesterday I was holding her in my arms and could not wait to let my friends see her. She is spunky, imaginative, and very smart. Cambria and my youngest sister Jaiden, who is almost eight, are the best of friends and it is so fun to watch them grow up together. None of me and my other sisters were that close growing up so it is super cute! Alyson is definitely not a little sister anymore, she is going to be 17 tomorrow and I can hardly believe it! She is also a good two inches taller than me, but then again the sister right above her is also taller than me and the one below her is an inch away. Aly has always made me laugh till I almost pee my pants. In the last couple of years we have gotten close as sisters and friends and it has been the best! She is always up for a photo session to be my model when I visit! This last time I visited Thatcher Arizona me and Aly went out to the Safford Golf Course. She always is self conscious when she models for me, but I get her out of her shell by get her to laugh and we have a good time! Being the oldest of 6 girls, yes you read that right-SIX girls, is sometimes a lot of pressure. You have five little, well not so little anymore, people watching your every move, looking up to you and wanting to be just like you. It used to REALLY annoy me when I was younger for example I would start dressing a certain way and they would too or I would be obsessed with a new music artist and they would also listen to them non stop. But as I got older it made me watch what I would do and say because I knew 5 other eyes and ears were on the radar. I love my sisters so much and we are the best of friends. I would do anything for them and protective from anything or anyone, so ya better watch out ;) I get to see my family in two weeks for Thanksgiving and I can hardly wait! I will be counting down the days! Friends come and go but family will always be there for you! I cannot believe this time last year Sean and I were announcing we were expecting a baby and now it is already Boston's first Halloween! It seems just like yesterday we were telling our families and friends we would be expecting our fist little one that next April. Having to keep a secret for two and a half months was the hardest thing ever! This time brings back all of those memories and feelings of happiness and are now multiplied more than ever with our little miracle.
Sean and I have almost forgotten all about Halloween and have been looking forward to Thanksgiving and Christmas. This fall was definitely different being in Logan where it has been fall for a good six weeks. We have already begun listening to Christmas music, had hot chocolate, and started to make Christmas lists. This is so not like me because I am the person who usually does not want to listen to Christmas music until a couple of weeks before. Back home in Thatcher AZ it just does not get cold enough for all of that until about then. Being a new mamma, I did want a picture of Boston at a pumpkin patch with some sort of Halloween onesie. I was worried I would not have enough light for picture by the time Sean got off work and showered, but we hustled! We loaded everyone up, got Boston in his outfit and headed off to one of the half a dozen pumpkin patched in Logan. A friend told me to go to the American West Heritage Center one in Wellsville so we went to that one! It was the perfect patch and was not crowded with people so we could take our time. The only downfall of going when we did was getting no smiles from Boston because he was tired despite all of the faces and funny noises Sean and I made. I was able to get picture though, and that is all I wanted so this mamma was happy ;) Today is a special day for me because two years ago I got engaged to my best friend right here in Logan Utah. It was spontaneous and it was the happiest moment of my life up until that point. We were just visiting and my husband wanted to show me around Logan because he has recently been there a couple times before and it had felt like home. I was a little hesitant at first, but when we sat on a bench overlooking the whole valley moments before he proposed, I was set. We love living in Logan, and even thought it has only been a couple months, it already feels like home. Today is also a very special day for me today because it marks six months from when my son got to come home from the hospital from being in the NICU. Those 46 days will be ones I will never forget. They were painful, emotional, hard, patience-bearing, special, intimate, and priceless. Some of you already know of his circumstances, of our journey but some of my new followers do not so I will give the short version. After being three weeks on bed rest in the hospital, my son Boston was born 10 weeks early at 2 lbs 0 oz and spent 46 days in the NICU at Tucson Medical Center in Tucson Arizona. He was truly a miracle surviving all odds with no complications. I will never forget the moment I became a mother when he was born and Boston came out screaming and the doctors showed him to me for a few short seconds. The first time I got to hold that tiny fragile body that fit into my sports bra was a moment I will never forget. Even though it felt like there were more wires than baby sometimes, I cherished those moments and hated when the nurses would make me put him back in his incubator. He was a fighter in the NICU and I felt so blessed to be his mother and a part of his journey. The days were long and especially hard being 2 1/2 hours away from our home and family. My husband and I were still in school and thankfully I was able to still graduate the month after we came home. It was discouraging to see wires and medicines taken away to then come back the next day to find they were there again. Being in the NICU is like taking one step forward and three steps back. It felt as if it would never end and we would never get to go home. The only way I survived was taking one day at a time and being hopeful and positive seeing this hardships as one for good in the end. My marriage became solid, I became a stronger person, I was able to see the good in others and help them in their struggles. I became a different person the moment I let this trial change me for good and I began to trust in God and His plan for me. "Faith and trust in the Lord requires us to acknowledge that His wisdom is superior to our own." -W. Mark Bassett Through faith, prayer, and patience of Boston's progression, we were able to come home when Boston was 7 weeks old. I remember how nervous I was to not have wires, monitors, or nurses by our side, but I was SO thankful to be home and leave that hospital life behind. I would never wish what I went through on anybody, but that part in my life will forever be very special and dear to me. I am so grateful that God had other plans for me than I intended for myself because I would not be the same person I am today. This trial made me take a step back from life when I thought my whole world was crushed as it turned upside down. Not knowing if my baby would live or not made me realize I had to trust in God and His ways were not my ways. It was hard to not loose hope and think 'Why is this happening to me when all these other babies get to come home fine?' We are mere pieces in God's puzzle of life and He has total control of it. Then why would He let bad things still happen to us? He will not give us more than we can handle and we can come out of a trial better and stronger after all of the tears, pain, and heartache if we turn to Him. I have been blessed with a miracle and I will never take life for granted again. Sometimes a thousand sleepless nights is what it takes to know God is there and that He is a part of our life. Sometimes life's hardest trials are His blessings in disguise. Thank you for reading this and being apart of our journey! I can not thank everyone enough that prayed, sent notes, fasted, and kept us in thier thoughts while Boston was in the hospital. Boston has come so far and these pictures are from a month ago for his 6 month mark. He is a happy and healthy baby and I have much to be grateful for.
God bless and Happy Monday! "Even the darkest nights turn into dawn for the faithful." Evan A. Schmutz |
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